• Twitter

many of the people I follow post links to articles, blog posts, ideas, tools and research outcomes which are at the forefront of developments and ideas in the profession

most conferences these days have a hashtag associated with them, and following that means I can vicariously attend events all over the globe, often linking me to resources such as presentations and papers from the event

• Blogs

there is no excuse for me not to keep up to date when there are so many blogs available covering a wide range of issues which impact on the profession, for example a small sample of those I read:

Wolfenden Report

Infoism 

Electronic Museum

OUseful

Ginformation systems

Musings About Librarianship

(the) Healthinformaticist

theWikiman

Joeyanne Libraryanne

David Lee King

I am sure you get the idea by now! There are blogs to suit every interest and professional topic. It’s just a question of the time to keep up with them. And the will.

• Unconferences and other free events

There are  mashedlibrary events, teachmeet events, unconferences including Library Camps, informal events where people meet socially and talk inevitably turns to the profession, and many formal events have sponsored places that it’s always worth trying for.

• Slideshare

Just run a search on any topci, for example Information Literacy,  and I can find presentations like The Essential Elements of Digital Literacies from all parts of the globe. All I need is access to the web.

• You Tube

Another fantastic resource for access to videos and clips on everything from Information Literacy to Advocacy.

• Web sites

Where do I begin? Here are a few I have used on a regular basis:

Digidol Digital literacy

Welsh Information Literacy Project

LIS New Professionals network

The Reading Agency

Heart of the School

Times Higher Education

Guardian Education

Voices for the Library

Mashable

Phil Bradley’s Website

• Libraries

If I can longer afford broadband at home then I can access it at the public library, along with all the other fabulous resources they have to offer.

That’s not to even begin to mention the resources available to me via professional organisations like CILIP and associated branches and groups. As I said, all that’s needed is the time and the will. As an unemployed person I certainly will have the time, and I wouldn’t e a professional librarian (a whole different debate mind you) if I didn’t have the will. So I disagree that you have to be in permanent employment in order to keep up to date and informed. You just need an open mind, willingness to help yourself, and the interest and dedication to put the time aside. In fact, as an unemployed person I probably have a wider ranging portfolio of CPD than many employed people. All that is now going in my next job application, just in case anybody else thinks in the same way as the person who triggered this chain of thought initially.

Open Mind

Catherine had a wonderful childhood because even though they never had holidays abroad, they had hardly any money, her clothes were never in fashion and sometimes her schoolmates laughed at them, she was always encouraged to think  about things, nobody ever stopped her asking questions and always tried to answer them, she had all the books she wanted to read from the public library and she knew she was loved whatever she chose to do.

Until she was eleven Catherine dreamt of being an archeologist, to do this she was going to go to University and study history. Catherine passed her 11+ and went to Grammar School (now luxury apartments). This was a good thing (apparently). At Grammar School she was taught English by a truly inspirational woman and decided she would study English Literature and become an academic, she would discover new knowledge and improve the world (somehow). At this time her love of anything unable to speak out on its own behalf began to really blossom. Her parents had some concerns, especially when she stood up and shouted at the trainers at the circus for being cruel to the elephants, sat in the local fur shop giving a running commentary on how FAT fur coats made people look and how cruel the fur trade was, and was very vocal about the Unspeakable in pursuit of the Inedible. They had a “quiet word”. Apparently they wanted Catherine to realise she probably wouldn’t be able to rescue every “lame duck” she met. However, they couldn’t hide that they were actually proud of her for standing up for her dreams and her principles.

Then the daft girl met a Boy. She decided to share his dream, and become a hotel receptionist so they could open the hotel he dreamt of. This meant not going to University and disappointing her beloved Mum. So she failed her A levels on purpose and went to Catering College instead. She became a Head Receptionist at a wonderful hotel and still dreamt of a future running their own hotel. Except now He was sharing that dream with another girl.

Skip a few years forward and Catherine had joined the Civil Service, where she dreamt of a great career progressing to mandarin status and the dizzy heights. Except she was a girl. Despite the fact she passed the exams with more marks and a better report than a Senior Manager’s son, she didn’t get promoted and he did. Somebody suggested she should try for a job in the Computing department. So she did. She started as a computer programmer in a department where being female was to be in a minority. It was fantastic. New dreams were born, inspired by Ada Lovelace and Lynne Lindsay. Catherine had many happy years working (playing) with computers and creating systems that she hoped would make life better for many lame ducks.

All this time at the back of her head Catherine still dreamt of university, learning and a way to be useful which her Mum would have been proud of (by now Catherine had been an orphan for ten years). Her husband supported her pursuing her real dream and so she saved up, sold her sports car (same model not actual car), and went to a wonderful university to study Library and Information Management.

It was a revelation. All the dreams, all the reading, all the talking and working she had been doing suddenly came together and she was incredibly happy. It was hard work but she finally felt that she was doing what she was always meant to do and that it would result in her being able to help other people achieve their own dreams. Before she had started the course her father in law and brother in law had joked with her that being such a very mature student might be difficult and she would struggle to get the grades her younger colleagues managed. She bet them she would get a 1st – a new dream. Catherine graduated with a 1st Class Hons, 2 awards and the highest marks in the cohort. A dream achieved.

Since then Catherine has had other dreams, some of which she achieved and others which she had taken away. On the whole she has achieved a greater proportion than she has lost. One huge dream she always knew would never happen. She would never be part of an elite university working on new ways to help other people achieve their dreams. After all she was from a very underprivileged background, with no A levels and worked in a profession that many people under-rated and didn’t value. Then one day she got an email, and all her academic dreams came true. Not only did they come true but now what she was given the opprotunity to do may very well help other people achieve their own dreams too.

The moral of this story is always think about things, read, ask questions, realise that “lame ducks” matter, and remember you are loved; then there is nothing that you cannot achieve.

I read an excellent blog this morning, it is about Awards and Recognition by Andy Woodworth. It started me thinking (yes, I know “That must have hurt” haha). I personally think excellence, innovation and just being great at what you do should be recognised. Ok, so being loud about what you achieve and some self promotion isn’t for everyone, that’s fine too, but just because it isn’t for you is no reason to be embittered about those who it IS for.

Why should the mere fact you have been lucky enough to hold onto the a job for umpteen years progressing smoothly up the ladder of grading to retirement mean you are entitled to awards and recognition? Yet somebody barely out of library school who has put their future career on the line to shout about the wrongs being committed to their profession is somehow not entitled to them?

Then I started thinking about a broader picture. All the questions I have been having about my profession and the wider society I live in lately.

Why should it be a prerequisite that you are in current employment before you can contribute to the profession you still belong to and care passionately about? Why should you need a job description that matches a certain narrow set of criteria before you can be called a professional? Are you unprofessional in your approach to what you do because you lack that job title or piece of paper? Why if you say in 1000 words what you could say in 10 should you be considered more erudite and worthy of respect? Why do people who are all working for the same wider cause not listen to each other and respect each other?

Then finally I wondered Why do some people find it so hard to say Thank You to recognise and award what somebody has done for them, even if it is “part of their job”? 

Answers on a postcard.

The day of the announcement drew nearer. I rearranged my bedroom so my pony would have somewhere to sleep and eyed up the long grass on the allotments for hay. I couldn’t sleep the night before. All day I waited for the horsebox. It didn’t arrive. I told myself we were a long way from London where the draw took place so my pony was on her way. Tomorrow she would be here. My poor long suffering parents tried to burst the bubble but I was sure they were wrong this time. My brother said I was stupid and tried to pummel some sense into me. I was oblivious. I knew I was the perfect person for the Sugar Puffs Pony and deserved to win. The gods would recognise that.

Of course, I didn’t get my pony. I have no idea who did. My older cynicism doubts that anybody did.

I have been trying to find a job for a long time now. I have had a lot of rejections and I realise I am unlikely to get what i want nowadays. A few weeks ago a job was advertised that exactly matched my experience, was where I wanted to live and with an organisation I wanted to work for. I applied, and I really thought I was going to have a chance. My little voice said it was unlikely that the job was going to go to someone like me. I ignored it, I knew once I got into an interview I could persuade them I was the right person.

I didn’t even get an interview. I don’t know why and I am not going to ask. I am just recognising it as another Sugar Puffs’ Pony. No matter how right I think I might be, the powers that be didn’t see it that way. Which is entirely their prerogative and I am sure they will find exactly who they need and want. It doesn’t stop it hurting though, but at least thanks to Sugar Puffs and that long-ago competition I know we don’t always get what we think we deserve, and that the disappointment fades.

I still should have won that pony though.

Many years ago a woman knocked on my door. She was careworn and faded in appearance, apart from her eyes which were shrewd and alert. Her mouth was bracketed by bitter lines and her forehead furrowed. As soon as I opened my door she started her spiel. “I am a poor woman with nobody to care for me and my children. Would you have such a thing as some old clothes to spare for me?” As it happened I had just moved in and had decided it was time to clear my wardrobe and make a fresh start all round, so I had some clothes already bundled up to go to a charity shop. I told her to wait at my door, which I carefully shut, and went to the back of the house to fetch them.

When I turned round she was right behind me. I still have no idea how she got there. My dog was barking his head off in the kitchen where I shut him before I answered the door, but she was unfazed as she looked around. I persuaded her back towards the living room, and handed her the clothes. I told her it was all I had and she turned to leave. Then she stopped, turned to me and said “I’ll tell you your future for £5″. I said I had no wish to know what was coming and opened the door (I knew I had closed it!) and said “Goodbye, I hope the clothes help”. She stood like a rock in the middle of the room. She stared at me for what seemed a long time, but wasn’t really. Then she took a pillowcase (new) from her bag and said “I won’t take anything from you without giving something in return”. She held out the case and said “Keep this and you will have good luck”. Slightly disconcerted, I took it from her and she took the bag of clothes and stepped outside. I watched as she began to walk over my garden.

Suddenly she stopped, turned around and walked back to me. She looked me straight in the eye and she said “You have had much pain and sadness, and it is all you can see ahead. Everything you have now you have worked for, everything you ever have you will work for. You think you will always be sad but I want you to know that soon you will meet again someone you once knew, who will make you happy. Make sure you recognise them. I am very glad to have met you, you are a special person”. And she turned and left.

To say I was unsettled by what she said would be an understatement. The tone of her voice and the way she looked me in the eye had been so convincing but how could she know what had happened to me in the last couple of years and don’t all fortune tellers say you are about to meet the “perfect” partner.

I told my brother what happened and he scoffed and said she was a flim-flam artist, skilled at reading people and interpreting the objects in my home to come up with a plausible story. I thought he was probably right, but in that case why had she only taken the clothes and not asked for more?

A few weeks later a friend got in touch, his marriage had broken down and he was catching up with friends he had lost touch with. He asked if I would like to meet up. That would have probably happened anyway, but did the Fortune Teller’s comments give me the subconscious push to go for that first drink?  Who knows. We celebrated 20 years of marriage a month ago (well, to be honest we both forgot but when I spotted the date we opened a bottle of wine).

I moved out of the area again shortly after her visit. I think about her occasionally. I am glad I didn’t shut my door in her face, because she reminded me that change and opportunity happen when you least expect them and aren’t looking for them. Some risks are worth taking. It’s up to us to recognise them when they appear, sometimes we just need a push in the right direction.

I still don’t believe in fortune telling though.

(But I do still have the pillowcase, still unused, in the linen cupboard).

As a poor substitute I would like to invite anybody who wants to ask me in particular anything, or share their views, to do so here in the comments. I will answer what I can as best I can, and if I can’t answer I will try to find somebody who can. Other CILIP Trustees will be attending, and will be available on the CILIP Stand throughout the event.

Hope all attendees have an interesting, enjoyable and useful experience, and hopefully we may meet at the CILIP AGM.

This is the first library I ever remember using. The excitement as my Mum and I waited at the “stop” for the doors to hiss open. Then the tricky climb up the steep steps, to be met with the smell of polish mixed with books, a hint of diesel and the Lily of the Valley perfume the “lady” used. One end of the mobile was dedicated to children’s books. I can see them now if I close my eyes. My Mum always let me choose my own books, sometimes suggesting ones I hadn’t read that she thought I would enjoy, but always letting me make the final decision. I discovered a beautiful version of Sleeping Beauty that had one particular illustration which for some reason completely captured my imagination and I repeatedly borrowed it just for that one image. One day the “lady” came out from behind the counter, knelt next to me on the floor and suggested I might like to borrow a book  on art instead, specifically costume and historical imagery. It was a book for adults which technically I shouldn’t have been able to borrow but she had seen my interest and encouraged it. The book included the painting of Ophelia by Millais. I made a mental connection between Sleeping Beauty’s image and Ophelia’s although I didn’t understand the true significance of the image. I learnt that non-fiction was as great a treasure trove as fiction. I loved that mobile library and hero-worshipped the librarian who ran it. It was like the magic shop that appears and disappears, and she was the magical shop-keeper.

2) St Annes Library 

When I was older, we started walking to St Annes library instead. It’s a Carnegie library, and my Mum told me all about Carnegie, and how libraries had become available to everybody partly because of people like him. She taught me how to find books about the history of things I was interested in, and also that fiction could bring events and people to life in my imagination. I learnt not to confuse them when I wrote in a history assignment that Philip of Spain fancied Elizabeth 1st but she rejected him, and that’s why he sent the Armada. Low mark and a lecture. Thanks for that Jean Plaidy!

There was a Reading Room at this library, and I would meet my Dad there sometimes. He was self taught in many areas, using the library resources, and studying in the Reading Room surrounded by volumes of encyclopaedias, law, directories and of course newspapers. I would sometimes do my homework in there.

As I got older, left home, found work, and life changed St Annes library was a constant. I always found information I needed there, and the staff were always happy to make suggestions for new fiction I might enjoy. They were amazing when my parents died within a week of each other, finding story and picture books we could use to help their grandchildren come to terms with what had happened. The librarians’ matter of fact but totally understanding approach helped me, too.

Watching them work wonders in providing a modern service in a historical, and sometimes unsuitable, building was inspirational. It became  the benchmark I would always compare back to, a measure I expected other libraries to achieve. It’s the library I picture when I talk about public libraries, it’s the library that I will always think of as “mine”.

3) Ambleside Library

In my late teens I went to work in Grasmere for a while. I was unbearably homesick. There was no library in Grasmere so I would catch the bus to Ambleside, the beautiful countryside would ease my loneliness to some extent, but discovering old friends on the shelves of the library would give me company.  My English teacher had given me a list of books to read in my lifetime when I left school, amongst them were the Herries Chronicles. The librarian noticed I was working my way through them at a rate of knots and asked if I was interested in reading about the author, the locations and the surrounding history. I was fascinated and my homesickness gradually faded as I began to feel more sense of belonging where I lived. Obviously, I also made friends and stopped feeling so lonely, but without the library those first weeks would have been much worse. I learned that as long as there was a library I would be able to belong to a community.

4) Hartlepool Library

This stood me in good stead when I spent a short while in Hartlepool. I never felt at home, and some unhappy times were spent there, but the library was again a sanctuary, source of information and provider of food for my imagination. It was the largest library I had used until then, but still had the feeling of familiarity and belonging that a good public library has. No judgement, no exclusion and no barriers.

5) Bamber Bridge Library

When I finally gave in to my genes and undertook a Library and Information Management degree this was my local library, and it was where I did one of my placements. There was no computer access and we used Browne Issue. Guess who knocked the cards all over the floor? Yes, dear reader, it was me. The staff were wonderful, supportive, patient and sharing. They taught me more in to weeks about what it means to actually work in a small community centric public library than three years of University ever could. Although I still think that a solid day of processing Mills and Boon was a bit excessive. They knew nearly every body who came in, from toddlers to octogenarians, they knew their likes, dislikes and foibles, were unfailingly patient and professional, even when frustrated by rudeness, aggression or even drunkenness. The space was miniscule, the technology non-existent and the facilities basic. I learnt that the people who belonged to the library should always be treated with respect and that any difficulties in delivering the service should be kept internal and not broadcast. I also learnt how to deliver a full pint service in a half-pint building. When I think of Bamber Bridge I smile (and wish it was mine).

6) Manchester Central Library

I studied at manchester Metropolitan University at a time when the new library was being built. The library continued to operate but sometimes it wasn’t my ideal study environment. Students were allowed membership of the public library service so I spent a lot of my first year in the most amazing library space I have used to date. I loved the circular room where the management works were kept. , and would sometimes get dizzy wandering round the shelves. I felt like a child again, as everything seemed larger than life. It still felt welcoming and non-judgemental though. Old fashioned, perhaps not suited to the modern world, but a privilege to have used it and studied in it, to have been part of its community. . Seems strange to think of it empty with the books stored in salt mines.  The other thing I learned at this library was how many hidden gems there must be in libraries all over the country. The Chinese library, the music library and the card catalogue spring to mind whenever I remember Manchester.

I have used, and still use, other libraries, but these six are my significant public lbraries. These are the ones that  gave me the wherewithal to become what I am in part. I have felt part of their community, and I have felt encouraged to learn, to stretch my imagination and my knowledge and to succeed. They are the ones that shaped my own library beliefs, they were all what libraries and librarians epitomise for me. They were somewhere to go for information, imagination, enlightenment, dreams and knowledge. They were supported by trained staff who cared about what they did and their community. They did not judge, deny access or withhold their service. They were modest, unobtrusive but beyond helpful. They cared, and it showed.

I have met other librarians, ones who were and always will be  far from reaching those levels of commitment, and I have felt that they should not be accorded the title of librarians. they shouldn’t represent the profession. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have encountered true public librarians throughout my life, and even more fortunate to have had free access to these 6 special public  libraries. I really hope that future generations have the same opportunities. I certainly hope that when they think the word “library” they see a place where they can go and learn and imagine,  with people who can guide them, and where they can feel they  belong to a community.

When looking to fill a post what would the ideal candidate want you to do:

1 Be sure you want to recruit

2  Write the job description and person specification very carefully and clearly

3 Make sure the advertisement contains all the information an applicant may need (e.g. salary, closing date, interview date as well as job description and contact details)

4  Create the  application form very carefully so it is unambiguous and not repetitive

5  Try filling in the application form yourself

6  Make sure people know what you expect from them

7  Be prepared to talk to people about the post prior to application

8 Be absolutely sure what your selection criteria are

9  Don’t make claims you can’t keep

10 Read it through objectively, what would you think if you were applying? Make any changes you think will attract the right applicants

When completing application forms what will a prospective employer expect you to do:

1  Be sure you want the job

2  Read the job description and person specification very carefully

3  Read the application form very carefully

4  Have all the necessary documentation handy as you complete the form (e.g. relevant dates, addresses, qualifications with grades, details of    people who have agreed to be your Referees)

5  Treat the application process seriously, allocating time, space and resources to ensure it is the best you can do and will be in on time

6 Answer the questions fully but concisely

7  Address all aspects of the person specification, no matter how obvious they seem

8  Make sure you are not rambling or waffling

9  Don’t make claims you have no evidence to support

10 Read it through objectively, what would you think if you were shortlisting? Make any changes you think will strengthen your profile

When interviewing what will candidates need you to do:

1  Be welcoming but not effusive

2  Make sure you know what questions you will ask

3  Have answers to questions candidates may reasonably ask

4  Take all candidates seriously

5  Don’t go in with your decision made and your mind closed

6 Listen properly to what candidates are saying

7  Show respect for candidates and the process by dressing and behaving appropriately

8  Never look bored

9  Know what the candidate said in their application

10 Give an idea of when results of interviews will be announced

When being interviewed what the recruiter will expect from you:

1  Be appropriately dressed and groomed for the post

2  Pleasant but not over familiar

3  Listen to and answer the questions you are asked

4  Know about the organisation and the job role within it

5  Remember what you put in your application form

6  Have evidence to support your suitability as per the person specification

7  Ask intelligent relevant questions and listen to the answers

8  Take the process seriously

9  Have an open mind

10 Be keen but not desperate

When giving feedback to unsuccessful candidates:

1  Arrange a time for the feedback

2  Set a time limit for the appointment

3  Be prepared for them to be upset

4  Be honest but not rude

5   Be constructive

6   Don’t make it obvious you can’t remember which one they were

7   Don’t sound as if you haven’t read their application or listened to their answers

8   Don’t get sucked into an argument

9   Be able to justify what you say

10  Suggest ways to improve only if asked

When receiving feedback you should: 

1  Arrange a mutually convenient time

2 Try not to take it personally

3  Listen to the reasons

4  Don’t argue

5  Ask how you can improve

6  Don’t flog a dead horse

7  Be polite

8  Ask if you could apply for future posts

9  Remember they don’t have to give you feedback so they are trying to help you

10 Say thank you

“There is no single legal definition of bullying, but it can include:

• offensive or insulting behaviour by another employee which makes an individual feel threatened, or taken advantage of
• humiliation of an employee
• less obvious ways of making an employee feel frightened or demoralised

Some common forms of bullying are:

• verbal abuse – eg persistent taunting
• physical violence or violent gestures
• public humiliation of an employee

However, bullying can be more subtle, such as:

• giving someone an impossible deadline
• removing an employee’s responsibilities and giving them more menial tasks
• withholding information or giving false information”

(from http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?itemId=1073792616&type=RESOURCES as at 16th March 2011)

I should think we are all aware of what bullying is, and who we would think of as a bully, and I am pretty sure we all think we aren’t  bullies and nor are our friends, judging by those criteria.

But I think there is more to it than that. I think bullying is when you ignore what is happening although you know full well that it is. It’s when you look at the floor rather than into somebody’s eyes when they are a target for a bully and need support. It’s when you tell somebody to snap out of it, get over it, be the bigger person so that you don’t have to acknowledge the situation or get involved. It’s when you don’t acknowledge somebody’s contributions publicly although you do privately. It’s when you take credit for somebody’s achievements without acknowledging them. It’s when you allow somebody to take the blame for something you know wasn’t their fault. It’s when you join in the laughter even though you are uncomfortable. It’s when you don’t stand up, speak out or offer support. It’s when you take the easiest, most expedient option. It’s when you blame the victim for the situation, not the real culprit.

At the moment a whole group of my profession is being bullied. They are called names and blamed for the loss of their own livelihood. Their status as professionals is questioned and derided. Their worth to society is denigrated. There are examples of this behaviour online and in the media too numerous to list here. They often can’t speak out for themselves for  legal reasons, and those who do speak out for them may also find themselves targeted and labelled but if we look away, shuffle our feet, wait for somebody else to do something, or ignore the abuse then we are as guilty as the bullies. We have to stand up for what we believe in, speak out, show people  how libraries and librarians contribute to society, talk to everyone we can reach.

Have you ever had the feeling that people know you are there but they can’t quite see you or hear you, that there is a barrier between you and them. That you are behind the waterfall. Maybe they don’t want to see you and subtly push you behind the fall, or maybe you put yourself there because eventually it is easier. A waterfall that drowns your voices and drenches you with cold shock when you try to step through its concealing veil, sending you back to the relative safety of the dry space behind the rush.

When I was a child my Dad called me “Little Miss Chatterbox”, and would say “my word, your tongue must be glad of the rest when you go to sleep”. I would talk to anyone and everyone, animal, vegetable or mineral. I wanted to find out all about them, and my questions were none stop. As I got older I wasn’t afraid of tackling people I thought were behaving badly, teasing a cat, bullying a playmate, wearing fur or being involved in unethical farming. I was passionate and I was vocal.

It was fine if people didn’t agree with me, there were lots of debates, and I was prepared to be persuaded – well, sometimes. I was young and I really believed that some things were important enough to stand up for and to speak out for. I have never condoned any intimidation or violence in the debates, always thinking it weakened the argument and made both protagonists as bad as each other. Likewise I always felt that everybody should be allowed to state their viewpoint so there can be no accusations of bias. I truly believed the world could change for the better if people just spoke up for what they believe and in their heart of hearts know to be the right thing to do.

As I progressed in my careers I tried to apply my personal ethos to each role I undertook. Especially as a manager. I tried very hard, and sometimes it was almost impossible, to put aside personal feelings and be even handed and fair. I believe that rules apply to everyone, and nobody should receive preferential treatment. This didn’t make me popular, with some of the people I managed or with all my managers, but I could sleep at night and look myself in the eye in the mirror. I even left jobs because I could not respect my manager or the ethos of the organisation. I was young, I was confident and I always walked into another job.

I eventually walked away from a reasonable career as an IT consultant to go to university to study Library and Information Management, sold my beloved sports car  to fund it. I loved those three years like I have never loved anything I have done before. Partly because I had always assumed I wasn’t academic, but it turned out I was. 1st class Honours, awards, respect and most of all a passion for my profession. I even started a PhD, but it wasn’t for me, and both my mentor and I recognised that in time for us both to gain something useful from the process but not waste time on it.

I was getting older. I was just as passionate and had all the same beliefs but I started to find it harder to be taken seriously and my professional judgement was doubted. Because I was a librarian. Through a series of events I can’t go into here I found myself unable to make my voice heard, I started to doubt my abilities, I thought my voice didn’t count, I thought I was irrelevant and maybe so was my profession. I became invisible. I found myself behind the waterfall.

Anybody who knew me in the years since then would not necessarily recognise that. I still worked, still spoke up for what I believed, still tried to do the best I could, up to a point. The point where I would have to step through the waterfall and be focussed on and responded to directly. Then two things happened. I realised I wasn’t the only person in my profession who felt like that. There were people deriding what we did, our values and the fact we really care about what we do, as if that is a weakness. And I registered on Twitter.

I felt I could say what I really felt there, and that people were seeing it, hearing it and responding to it. They might not agree, but they were hearing it. I started to get angry that people who, in the main, were doing a bloody good job in difficult circumstances were becoming the scapegoats for people trying to promote their own flagging careers. The easy target to cut to save money for mismanaged budgets, the target for an unprecedented irrational level of vitriol on forums and blogs. I didn’t want a whole profession to go behind the waterfall. So I started to speak out, in a safe way of course. Then I had the opportunity to do more and use my experience in a new group set up to support public libraries, Voices for the Library . I am hugely proud of what we achieved in a short time, and my contribution to that, and of their continued massive success and influence. It gave me the confidence to step out from behind the waterfall and stand in the elections for CILIP Trustee to give me the chance to work for all sectors of the profession.

I was hugely flattered to be elected and also surprised and unsure that I could live up to expectations. I had to give up my role in VftL, which I have found incredibly hard to do, and change the way I approach things, which I also found hard. I have had to start again, and I have found the legacy of the waterfall hard to beat. I find it hard to stand up for myself, to say “actually I think you’ll find I said that”, to say “no, that’s not my role” to say “listen to me what I say does matter”, but I am finding it easier every day to say “I am here to represent my profession and I will not let you malign, undermine or sideline it” and “I am here on behalf of the communities we serve and I will not let you patronise and belittle them”. I am halfway through the waterfall, and finding the next step easier all the time. What we do is too important to be drowned out in the flood water of the moment. I am finding my courage and my strength from the waterfall behind me, and all the voices behind it.