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Archive for September, 2014

Yesterday, on Twitter, @greebstreebling asked people to tell her the loveliest thing anybody ever did for them. It pulled me up short and really made me think about all the wonderful things people have done for me, and I realised that all of them were for the same reason. They “Loved me”.

Then I thought what each of these people did that let me know they truly loved me. I came up with this list.

I know Grandad loved me  because when I was a child he let me polish his bald head with beeswax and a duster.

I know my Dad loved me because he sang to me every day (including Baby Mine Don’t You Cry  when the children next door bullied me and made me cry).

I know my Mum loved me because she told me I made her feel safe just before she died.

Auntie Lil’s face would light up with happiness whenever I went to see her and she would hug me as if I was precious.

Dave stayed as long as he could, no matter how tired he was.

Tim knows who my favourite poet is, and read a chapter of My Neighbour Totoro out loud to me every night when I was in hospital.

That’s before I even start to think of the animals who have loved me and shared my happiness and sorrow, expressing an unselfish compassionate love without words. My life would have been less rich if I had not known them.

I feel so lucky when I remember these loveliest things. Thank you, Mobeena, for making me think.

angel

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Always dance

When I was a teenager and started going out clubbing with friends my Dad would worry that I was out too much. My Mum (who was always the strict parent) said to me “Catherine, if you get a chance to dance, always take it, you never know when you won’t get the chance any more. Never turn down the chance to dance and be happy”.  This was so out of character it really stuck in my head. It was usually my Dad who encouraged me to be myself and do what felt right .

Over the years I have tried to do what she said, literally and figuratively. (My arthritis did eventually get so bad that I couldn’t dance any more. Since my knees were replaced I have read that I shouldn’t dance but I will be asking my consultant if that applies to all dancing and hoping not.) It isn’t always easy and sometimes the dance just feels too hard to carry on with.

As you probably know I left a job I loved very much recently. (I won’t go into detail). Suffice to say that this and my convalescence have at times made me feel really down. I know in my heart I had to leave, but sometimes I wish I had just let it drift over me like others did. Anyway, all in all it has made things a bit tough.

I had to go to the GP today and as I was driving myself I put the music on. I like to sing along but my voice is not one to inflict on anybody else. It was a usb loaded with all sorts of tracks. As I pulled into a parking space this started to play I didn’t even realise it was on there.

As I listened to the lyrics (which some might say are a bit cheesy, but cheese can be good for us in small doses) I remembered my Mum telling me to grasp at the good things, and the lyrics also reminded me of  my Dad telling me to stick to my principles and always be able to look myself in the eye in the mirror. Good job I was in the car alone because  I did get a bit tearful. Then I took a step back and realised I have so much I can be glad about, and at least I know I tried to change things.

So, yes, I am sad that I may not be able to dance as I used to and I am more than sad that I no longer have the job I love. Still I am more than glad I can walk so much better, (and probably dance a circumspect slow dance with my long suffering husband), and that I didn’t “settle for the path of least resistance” or sell out. So next time, when I get the chance, I will still most definitely dance!

 

 

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